Over the past 3 months or so, I’ve witnessed an unprecedented amount of change going on in both my life and my friends’ lives. Tv-room talk is frequently centered around changing careers, changing locations, changing eating habits, and changing desired qualities in girls. But regardless of the specific topic, change in some form or another is frequently at the heart of the conversation.
I wondered, is there such a thing as a quarter life crisis? Apparently, it may actually be a real thing after all.
It makes sense that there would be such a thing as a quarter-life crisis. And it makes double sense that my generation would be experiencing the symptoms of it right now. We were released into an abismal workforce environment in summer ’09, leading drones of fresh graduates to unanticipated graduate/law school, or taking jobs they weren’t crazy about. Fast forward 2 years. Two years is just about the exact amount of time it takes someone to start really reevaluating some shit. Do I really wanna keep this sales job? Do I really wanna live in this hectic city? Shouldn’t I be out dating more seriously by now?
So is there such a thing as a quarter life crisis? I think so. But it isn’t necessarily a “crisis.” I mean, you can certainly apply the tag “crisis” to it if you’d like, but you could also just be a time when people are really figuring their shit out.
A couple of months ago, I decided I wanted to move locations and start taking on new opportunities professionally. I was extremely shaky for the couple of days after making that decision. I mean, what was I gonna do now? What if I don’t have enough money? Where do I wanna live? Will I make friends there? And on that note, why don’t I still talk to my old friends as much anymore? The world can look like a pretty unhelpful place with this attitude.
Around that time, I was in San Francisco visiting my friends Amit and Nicolas. I told Nicolas one day about all this change going on in my life and the big decisions that loomed ahead–just talking about it made me anxious. And as I finished explaining all this to Nicolas, his eyes lit up and a grin came to his face as he said–and I’ll never forget this–”wow, that’s exciting!”
And with that line, my universe was flipped on it’s head. Ya know what? It sure fuckin is exciting to be 24 years old, single, looking for a different job, and able to pack my whole life into a Honda Accord.
This is my car. His name is Roger. All my belongings fit in him. This makes me sublimely happy.
I remember at one point feeling like everyone else but me had their shit together. Then I realized that in reality, no one at my age truly has their shit together. Some 24 year olds happen to make a ton of money, but are working their bodies and minds to exhaustion doing something their not passionate about, while others love what they do but are constantly complaining they don’t have enough money. Go figure! Some 24 year olds love the city they’re living in but feel they have no friends, while others love being surrounded by their friends but hate the city they’re in. Go figure. Some 24 year olds are happily married (or basically wifed up by a girlfriend) but miss spending as much time with their other friends, and others are happy bachelors but growing less interested in the party scene and becoming continually impatient for the right person to come along. Go figure.
I don’t think anyone at my age hasn’t had serious doubts about whether certain aspects of their lives are in line with their priorities. But that’s legit, and it’s healthy, and personally it feels like an important time to really pay attention my gut feeling on things. Important to note that this is a markedly different mindset from saying “I wanna go out and make as many mistakes as possible because I’m an invincible 24 year old who can bounce back from anything.” No, it’s not that. I’m saying I’m tryna pay close attention to how my personal boundaries and interests are changing, and then genuinely and carefully act on them.
As many smart people have noted in the past, change is constant. My body is literally not the same as when I started writing this post. In fact, my body is not the same as it was a millisecond ago. And the same holds true at a macro level: One day I decide I want to stop eating meat because I feel better without it, and the next day I’m eating steak. One day I decide I should be more educated on current world politics, so I start reading the Economist. The next day I decide politics suck (which they do), and take up photography with my newfound free time. One day I decide basketball is the best workout for me, the next day I trade basketball in for yoga. Bottom line is, I change my preferences all the time–sometimes even multiple times a day. It’s healthy. It’s part of being 24 years old. It’s part of being alive. It’s literally my life unfolding before my eyes and onto a computer screen–and it’s a lot of fun to watch.
Is it time to pull a Jerry Maguire in your life?
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